


Everybody has a line.

by sergioprentiss



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 22:40:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15716550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sergioprentiss/pseuds/sergioprentiss
Summary: "Going undercover as terrible criminals? Yes. Weirdos and creeps? Okay. But everybody has a line, and this is where i'm drawing mine”. G Callen faces the reality of cosplay.





	Everybody has a line.

**Author's Note:**

> Any implications against cosplay aren't to be taken seriously, I agree with the wonder twins. Previously posted on tumblr.

“No. It’s not gonna happen, going undercover as terrible criminals? Yes. Weirdos and creeps? Okay. But everybody has a line, and this is where i'm drawing mine”.

“It’s one day, Callen, and it’s in the search of virtue and justice!” Eric practically yelled, hands gesticulating wildly and bouncing on the balls of his feet. The worst part, thought Callen, was the utter earnestness on his face. He wasn’t even trying to mock him, he was just genuinely excited at the prospect of dressing him up as Robin and marching him off to the nearest nerd infestation to track down a man in a tacky batman costume who just happened to have some very classified navy codes. 

“I am not wearing my underwear on top of my pants, Beale.” He almost growled, with force to it, because he meant it, he was not publicly displaying his underwear for anything, and he’d have thought he’d actually made some headway if it weren’t for the fact that Eric was now wearing the pained facial expression he always wears when somebody has the misfortune to get nerd trivia wrong in his presence. 

“That’s a common misconception, Callen, the original Robin from the DC comics wore a green leotard without wearing any pants at all, giving the illusion that his bare legs were in fact pants, but in reality, it was always Batman himself who was guilty of any underwear infractions. Later versions of Robin had him also style the same look as batman, but it’s not an absolute rule that his underwear be on over his pants. That’s even ignoring that Robin wears more of what you’d call tights, or leggings, than pants at all. There’s also the possibility of dressing you as the Robin from the 1997 Batman and Robin movie, who wore more of a stylish body armour type outfit with built in abs, and that had more of a built in codpiece of a different colour than the leg armour rather than outside underwear, just to give the audience the illusion of the classic design-” 

Callen toned out Eric’s drone by this point, the horror of colour coded codpieces washing over him at about the same time the realization that Sam would absolutely hold onto any photographic evidence of him in this outfit until the day he died, and that he’d never get to live it down. It’d probably end up wallpaper in the burn room. Or at the very least Kensi’s desktop background for six months, ready to haunt him whenever he sat in the bullpen innocently trying to complete his paperwork on time. 

His eyes must have glazed over visibly, because from across the room in her chair, Nell cleared her throat loudly, managing to gain both his undivided attention and to completely shut Eric up in the middle of a tangent, which Callen privately thought was one of her most laudable talents. 

He was only impressed for approximately two seconds, however, or at least the amount of time it took him to register the shit-eating grin on Nell’s face, and really, he thought, he should have known better than to ever think she’d try to rescue him from an awkward situation, she’d probably be the one deriving the most glee from his suffering and supplying the entire office of special operations division with jpegs of him in green tights and red underwear. 

“You know, Callen, while Eric does have some great green tights you could borrow, honestly, you don’t even have to be Robin”

Feeling like he was walking straight into a trap but knowing he he didn’t have much of a choice but to ask, he took the bait “What do you suggest then?”.

"I always thought Super G-String would make a Great superhero name for you”.


End file.
